Fool
by SaMmi SnEeze
Summary: REWRITE TAKING PLACE! NEW chapter one up! chapter 2 and 3 have BAD grammar and not enough details! don't read it yet! Hamtaro remembers the good times, and how much hes been a fool.
1. remember the memories

The usually happy hamster sat alone thinking about how much of a fool he has been over the years. All of the other ham-hams were happy and starting families. "Oh Bijou what did I do wrong? I thought it was ME you loved..."  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
"Hamtaro! I have great news!"  
  
"What Bijou?"  
  
"Are you sure you want to know Hamtaro?"  
  
"YES! The suspense is killing me!"  
  
"I am going to be a ham- mother! And..."  
  
"Wow Bijou that's amazing news!" He shouted, as he was about to embrace his friend, and lover, in a hug.  
  
"And Boss is going to be a ham- father!" Those words made Hamtaro stop in his tracks.  
  
"Aren't you so happy Hamtaro?"  
  
"Oh... congratulations, well... I have to go Bijou. Before Laura knows I'm gone." He said and turned away before Bijou could see the tears well up in his extremely round eyes.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Hamtaro thought of that day, and it still killed him in side. 'Why couldn't those babies be mine? I can't even count the times I lent myself to bijou for her pleasure or comfort when things got rough (A/N is that possible? Well. It is here...whoa.. Hamtaro sounds like a ham whore...=/). That memory brought back an even more painful memory, their wedding.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Bijou walked down the red carpet with a white veil and white bows. Hamtaro stood next to Boss as she made her way to the alter. ' Why did I say I would be the best ham?' The whole ceremony was a blur to him he came back to his senses as the worst part of the ceremony took place.  
  
"Do you Boss, take Bijou to love and to hold till death do you part?" Elder ham said. He finally was able to stay awake for the whole event.  
  
"I do."  
  
"Do you Bijou take Boss to love and to hold till death do you part?"  
  
"I do."  
  
'NOOO BIJOU!!!! YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO LOVE BOSS! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO LOVE ME!'  
  
"Opps! I forgot to ask if any one had any objections against these to ham- hams being wed," Hamtaro's hand shot up like a rocket.  
  
"Hamtaro?" Boss questioned.  
  
"Uh... sorry Boss, my paw is pretty twitchy now-a-days. "  
  
"Phew..." Boss said under his breath  
  
"Now, Is there any non-twitching ham-hams out there with an objection?" "Well, by the power with in me, I pronounce you ham-ham and wife! You may now kiss the bride!!" Boss blushed so Bijou leaned in for the kiss.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
That kiss. It seemed to last forever. 'I miss the ham-hams,' He said as he lowered his head. All of them had someone to hold, someone to love, someone to help them with their problems.  
  
"Where's my ham-ham that I could hold, love and help me? Where is anyone when I need them? I was always there when they needed help..." All of the ham-hams were taken in this town. Sandy and Maxwell, Pashmina and Dexter, Penelope and Cappy, Snoozer and Sleepy, Oxnard and Pepper, Howdy and Doody, and of course Boss and Bijou. Panda, Stan and Jingle, They all moved. Well at least Panda and Stan. Jingle is always wondering around so who knows about him. "Stan, all that time I spent looking for you because Sandy missed you, then you go and move." The door opened and Hamtaro thought it was Laura. But it was only her mom bringing in Laura's laundry. "I miss Laura, ever since her and Travis started dating she doesn't play with me anymore. She doesn't even tell me how her day was, like she used to...." He said feeling the tears well up in his eyes. He couldn't go out with Laura any more because she always shut her windows and door and any other opening he could get out of. He thought of the day when he helped Bijou get out of her house. The first of many times he would help Bijou. He thought of all of them. Each time he thought Bijou would be with him. "But Boss always came at the end and took the credit. That's why Boss has Bijou and I don't. That's why I sit here day in and day out, living on memories of the good times," He said as tears rolled down his face. He heard a small tap at the window. He looked back and Boss was there. 'Bijou is probably giving birth and he wants me to be the God- ham for one of them.'  
  
"Hamtaro!" Boss called through the window.  
  
'Go away Boss.' Hamtaro thought, and burrowed his head deep into his fur. "Hamtaro?" Hamtaro looked up at his old friend. He thought of going to the window to see what's up, but instead he turned around and walked to the farthest corner of his cage. "Hamtaro?" Boss said one last time before leaving.  
  
"BIJOU!!! WHAT DOES BOSS HAVE THAT I DON'T? WHY DID YOU CHOOSE HIM INSTEAD OF ME? I DID EVERY THING FOR YOU! I WAS ALWAYS THERE WHEN YOU NEEDED ME!! But now that I need you... you aren't there. No one is." He said as even more tears came down his furry cheeks. The door opened again and this time it was Laura. Hamtaro's tears dried away and face lit up hoping tonight was the night Laura would play with him.  
  
"Hey Hamtaro! I had a great time today with Travis you know. I hope tomorrow will be as great as today was!" she said as she climbed into bed and fell asleep.  
  
Hamtaro's joyous feelings were crushed. "Maybe I should have told her my feelings straight up. Instead of pretending I didn't like her, even though everyday I longed to hear her call my voice over and over again. Maybe I should have told them ALL my true feelings about things, even if they were small and simple. Maybe...just maybe, I shouldn't have been so helpful and caring." he paused and looked around the room, "How would a ham-ham commit suicide?" 


	2. attemptd suicide

When Laura went to school Hamtaro tried to remember how the girl tried to commit suicide in the book Maxwell read them one day. "I think she cut herself a few times" he whispered to himself as he looked for a sharp object.  
  
"Scissors!" he yelled as he ran up to Laura's pencil box. He reached in and got the scissors. "Hm.. She cut her wrist I think," he said as he pushed the scissor blade to his wrist "NOTHINGS HAPPENING!" he shouted throwing the scissors down.  
  
"JUMPING OFF THE SHELF! THAT'S HOW IT WILL BE DONE!" hollered as he climbed up to Laura's top shelf. He closed his eyes and fell backwards. When he hit the ground, he just bounced back on to his feet "DAMN!" he bellowed hitting his head on to the chair leg. After an hour of thinking up ways to commit suicide he eat a sunflower seed. Part of it got stuck in his throat. He began to panic but then he thought  
  
'Hey this is how I will die, and its not bad because I was chocking. so then. it wouldn't be my fault" he thought as he lost his balance and feel down. His fall made the bit of sunflower seed leave his throat. He got up and cursed himself. Then went to his Cage and thought of more ways to commit suicide.  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Hey Bijou?""  
  
Yes boss?"  
  
"Why do three of the babies look just like Hamtaro?"  
  
"Maybe.." Bijou began to panic, she never though her babies would turn out to look like Hamtaro, she knew she slept with him a few times before her and boss got married.  
  
"Maybe your ancestor hams had orange and yellow coats," she said with a twang of nervousness in her voice.  
  
"No, my ham mother told me, all my ancestor hams look just like me" Boss said  
  
"Bijou. did anything happened between you and Hamtaro"  
  
"No, never boss, I love you to much" Bijou lied to boss  
  
"That's good, we could clear that idea out of our heads now" he said  
  
"Why would you accuse me of sleeping with Hamtaro?"  
  
"I don't know. its just. they look so much like him. THAT ONE EVEN HAS A LITTLE ORANGE DOT ON HIS BUTT!"  
  
"I DON'T KNOW EITHER! I'm going for a walk," She said picking up one of the Hamtaro look a likes and when outside" "BIJOU WERE ARE YOU GOING?" he yelled after her, but she was to far away to hear. He sighed as he looked at the baby that looked just like him  
  
"At least I know your mine," he said patting the young one on the head ________________________________________________________________________  
  
Short chapter I know. just wanted to put something new out there for you all. Oh yes, I am a H/B fan. this story is to those B/B fans, they don't know what things like losing your loved one can do to a ham-ham! And, don't worry, I'm not sure what hamtaro is going to do. is he going to commit suicide? Or will he learn to move on with his life? I dunno, but read the next chapter coming soon to find out! (Again sorry for the short chapter) fire and ice monkey oh yea. maybe read and review my poems! (to keep your self busy) 


	3. I hate you

Sorry this chap took me SOOOO long to write. Hm. review and tell me if it should continue to be all angst. or angst with love? (And it wont is with who you think)  
  
Bijou walked over to Hamtaro's house. 'Why do I live everyday with a lie? I know I love Hamtaro but, I am already married to Boss' She jumped onto the window.  
  
"Hamtaro? Are you there?" she called looking in. Hamtaro was sitting in his cage doing nothing. She began to tab on the window "HAMTARO!!" she saw his head turn just the slightest. "Oh Hamtaro, how much have I hurt you?"  
  
  
  
"Hamtaro!!" Bijou called to him  
  
'Go away bijou' he thought he didn't even want talk to anyone, but he turned his head just to get a glimpse of her. 'Oh Bijou how pretty you are, but how much you disgust me' he thought as he turned and walked over to a corner. Laura's mom came in and looked at Hamtaro.  
  
"Hi Hamtaro, why do you look so sad these days?" Laura's mothers voice always soothed him. She sighed "I think you need a little buddy to keep you company, now since Laura is so busy"  
  
Hamtaro's ears pricked up "A buddy? How wonderful!" He yelled but then thought 'what if they fall in love and leave me to?" He gave Laura's mom a glance  
  
"Hamtaro it looks like you've been crying" She opened the cage and lifted him out.  
  
'Please just put me back into the cage, I want to be alone' Hamtaro gave her his big happy eyes so she would think everything is okay.  
  
"Mom I'm home!"  
  
"Oh Laura I need to talk to you about something!"  
  
"Mom, Can it wait I'm going out with Travis bowling"  
  
"No it can't wait!" Her mom called, but she was already out the door "Kids. They never listen," she whispered as she put Hamtaro back into his cage. Then she walked out of the room.  
  
"I HATE YOU TRAVIS! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE LAURA AWAY FROM ME!" he shouted trying to think of more ways to commit suicide "I HATE YOU BOSS FOR TAKING BIJOU AWAY FROM ME! SHE WAS THE ONLY HAM-HAM I LOVED!" he brought his voice down to a whisper "I hate you Laura, you just leave me here everyday with out a simple rub behind the ear. I hate you Bijou I know I am better than boss in everyway possible. You were just to blind to see it" He got out of his cage and walked up to a picture frame with Travis's picture.  
  
  
  
"I HATE YOU TRAVIS," he shouted as he tackled the picture frame and broke the glass. Glass shards flew everywhere. One shard pierced Hamtaro's shoulder. He looked over and blood was pouring out. 'Blood, beautiful blood! How long I wished to see you blood! Now I know how to commit suicide"  
  
All Hamtaro has to do is just wait a little longer.  
  
Sorry another short chap!! I promise to write more often!! I might even have another chap by Monday! Hm. what's going to happen to hamtaro? He sounded a little mad talking about blood. hm. what was I thinking there? Hehe please review and tell me how my story is going, and things that I need to change. 


End file.
